Updated: Sep 19, 2019
Can I be honest, I’m tired. And I believe in the silence and solitude you find yourself in, maybe you’re a little tired too. We all carry our own share of titles throughout a day, week, and year. We’re leaders, parents, friends, workers, dreamers and just in plain “WE’RE HUMAN”. With each title, there can sometimes feel like there’s weight attached and it doesn’t have to be negative. Your title can mean taking care of someone, providing a listening ear, fulfilling a duty or just being present.
What I’ve discovered is that doing all these good things can be so draining if you don’t have proper BOUNDARIES and PLANS in place. Boundaries to set limits to what you’re capable of doing and plans to set things in place to fill you back up when your tank is on E! I want to share two of the most important tips I’ve discovered as it relates to boundaries and plans, I discovered to be helpful in my life and why there important.
While going through counseling, it became obvious to me that people will take advantage of you. Like part of me heard that before, but I had never thought it could happen to me. People will see you and how beautiful your heart is and use it to their advantage. Underneath, you are struggling with being a people pleaser and so you allow it. When I say “people pleaser” I’m not busting your bubble, I’m just saying if your honest maybe there are times when you should have said no, but you said yes. At the heart of why you said yes is probably some reasons around well so and so never ask for much, I mean I can do it so it’s no big deal, right?
Wrong! To accept a task regardless of friend or foe and not have a sit down with your heart, mind and spirit is to do yourself a disservice. I get it, maybe it sounds like the best thing to do and maybe it’s okay to do it. All I’m saying is take your time and give yourself a chance to fully assess the situation and go from there. When you do this, you allow yourself a chance to understand all of what’s coming with your acceptance even if it’s questioning and answering the why’s.
Second on the list of helpful tips to discover your road to peace is making a plan! How many times have you realized you will do almost anything for anyone else “with your big heart” more than you will do something for yourself? There always seems to be a reason or conflict in schedule when it comes time for doing what makes you happy. Aren’t you tired of that? Why is it that you can't seem to make some time and get your nails done, catch a solo movie, play your instrument or work on that novel you been trying to finish…Lol, the last part was for me, but seriously?
What is it going to take for you to start seeing yourself as important as anything else you do? You deserve to take care of you too, and I want to see you not only finish this year strong but build momentum for the next.
In closing, I just want to remind you that you don’t need permission to love yourself, do stuff for yourself, or set boundaries to protect yourself. YOU are just as important if not more important that the task you fulfill daily, weekly and yearly!
This week kick back and continue to build on that self love. Even if you're good at it, it's a continuous practice. Do something for you this week that doesn't involve outside interference.